You know you're re-acclimatized to London life when......

1. Your handbag used to hold: wallet full of cash, fags, lighter, make-up, teiki, keitai, suika, point-card wallet, name-card holder, mini hair-brush on a Friday. Your handbag now holds: Oyster, switch card, the FT and maybe a five pound note.
2. You wear stilettos to work because you can sit on the tube and you're going straight home afterwards (and because I'm short!).
3. Your social world revolves around drinking tea.
4. You actually feel ignorant because you know nothing about Eastenders or Big Brother. I have been shamed in public.
5. You know the tune to Will Young's latest cookie-cutter pop hit.
6. You watch good television.
7. British womens' breasts no longer make your eyes pop out.
8. Your gastronomic standards fall so low, you buy Sushi from Tesco's.
9. 90% of British men no longer look sexy just because they're tall.
10. Blowing your nose after travelling on the tube turns your tissue black.
11. Walking 8 minutes to the tube seems like a major hassle, so you take the bus.
12. You work a full day, go for a drink, have a three-course dinner in Mayfair with you beloved Godfather and are home by half-ten.
13. You leave your house late and don't rush, because you know you can always blame it on signal failure.
14. You can approach someone for directions without fearing that you will reduce them to a bowing, petrified mess of "no speaku Engrish".
15. You stop worrying that people think you're a hostess/stripper/hooker.
16. You learn very quickly that calling people's Northern/Liverpudlian/East End accents "cute" aint gonna make you any friends! You also learn very quickly that you don't really give a damn either ;-)
17. You realise that unlike in Japan, you're a bit of a freak living at home at 24! Let's sorting out!