Republica Dominicana

Let me insert the caveat first of all, that my trip to the DR was fabulous - even though it may seem initially like this post is one big moan. Let me try to justify it by explaining that although I have lived in more countries and traveled more that I deserve, the DR was possibly the most unexpected culture shock I have experienced yet.

This was my first package holiday and frankly, I couldn't believe the price. I arrived at Gatwick and made my way to the check-in counter, only to discover a concentrated assortment of genuine, bonafide chavs. Behold the fluorescent tracksuit, wet perm and tattoo brigade. I exaggerate not, I was boarding a plane with 200 of England's answer to trailer-park trash. "What a snob!", I hear you cry. Not I said the fly. I simply thought it was interesting and actually I felt very ignorant that I hadn't ever come across people who represent the vast majority of England's population. Toto, I don't think we're in South Ken anymore...The only reason I mention this is because I ended up being sat next to a man and his wife, with the man being without doubt, the crudest, most obnoxious and abhorrent creature I have ever come across. He spent the entire flight bragging to his wife at the top of his voice about how rich he was, how he could buy her "anything your f*cking heart desires" while punctuating his anecdotes with so many vigorous "f*cks" and "c*nts", I was literally shocked out of my sleep more than once. Nine hours later, I felt disgruntled, disgusted and very tired.

Upon arrival at the shack in Punta Cana that served as the airport, we were all informed that there was an immigration charge of US40, and no, they did not accept any other currency. Bugger. After and hour, 3 trips to the one ATM machine, which was broken and to the bank, which wasn't staffed, yours truly decided to do a runner through immigration and just hope that nobody noticed. They didn't and I finally arrived at my destination to reunite with Caca.

Unfortunately, I carried a stowaway in the shape of bad luck. No less than an hour after reaching the hotel, the clouds gathered, the heavens opened, and it did not stop raining for 5 days. We're not talking measly drizzle here people, we are talking full-on tropical storm. The pool flooded and filled with soil, the restaurant ceilings caved in, and Caca and I furiously stuffed towels under the door in a vain attempt to stop the water seeping into our room.

Needless to say that although a little disappointed at the meteorological turn of events, we decided to make the best of it. Namely with our "if we can't be brown, at least we can be skinny" mantra. Runs along the beach, at least an hour in the gym every day, galloping down the beach on horseback through the storm (which was SO much fun!), and sit-ups, sit-ups, sit-ups. Plus plenty of sleep, devouring books and loads of girlie talk. The staff did their best to keep everyone entertained and this was a continuation of the culture shock theme. Americans, bless them, are so gun-ho and ever so keen. The resort was populated by 90% mid-westerners, mostly couples and for many, this was the most exotic place that they had been to. So it was with plenty of curiosity and a little bit of envy that Erica and I watched them partake in the organised activities every day. It was the equivalent of adults reverting to children as they played, were scolded for not playing fair, and were encouraged and applauded for doing a "great job". VERY weird. Below are pics of the organised dancing sessions. Toooo funny!

Culture shockerama. I could never live in the US.

Other tit-bits (as this is getting to be a dissertation) were:
- The male staff were unbelievably lecherous. Not only did they insist on coming over and talking to us despite our best efforts at 'leave-me-alone" vibes, but they asked us for dinner, for drinks, for dancing, called us at night in our rooms, and one guy even turned up uninvited at our horse-riding excursion!!
- The spa ripped off the skin on my eyebrow when they were attempting to wax me and so I got my other spa treatments free
- All-inclusive drinks and food is SO the way forward
- Caca and I had to gyrate to the mambo on stage
- Caca and I were also finalists in the limbo competition!! (As you can tell, we soon joined in the organised fun!)
- I have never known sun that strong. Even through the cloud and rain, Caca and I got fried
- The resort was beautiful
- If you are looking for a dirt cheap holiday, I would totally recommend it - but go in the dry season!
- Only a few pics, and they are here

Comments

[Princesshalfu]

Jimmy - are you JB-P???

[Jimmy]

First of all, we Americans do not even consider the DR to be part of the US -- I realize we have ownership, but it is not one of the 50 states.

Second of all, we Americans just want to have fun, and are not as inhibited as euro snobs. We tour new places for the full experience, and not because mommy and mommy's boyfriend want us out of the house for playtime.

Third of all, you look hot in that bikini. Let it all droop out baby!!

[Jimmy]

JB-P??? Is that Peanut Butter and Jelly?? More like T+A, baby.

[Jimmy]

Bring out the sausage, people.

[Princesshalfu]

I take offence to the 'droop' comment!!! So, you're a girl??

[Jimmy]

What makes you think I'm a girl, my queen? I'm a straight male, who points slightly to the left, in your direction.

[Jimmy]

Will someone please bring out the sausage?

[Jimmy]

To be honest, I find your blog-site very boring. Your entries are funny and your body is droop-a-licious, but you're way too slow to respond to people's comments. Bloggers in the US will always respond within 5 minutes at any time of day, and that keeps people interested in the page. But you're very slow, so that's why you're often stuck with 0 comments -- why post when you won't respond?

[Princesshalfu]

Because, dear Jimmy, some people have jobs where they can't be logged on to their blogs during work hours - which for me, is 14 hours a day. But thanks for the feedback :-p

[Jimmy]

That's called a crappy job. Why doesn't your boss let you do personal stuff? 14 hours a day is excessive. No amount of money is worth that. Anyways, I do about 9am-6pm 5 days a week for $100,000 a year.

[Jimmy]

Also, your responses are very defensive. In a blog, you should be aggressive -- it's YOUR blog. Check out this one:

http://www.livejournal.com/~hjcanning/

[Jimmy]

Oh my god, I am dying of boredom here. I gotta splitsville, chica lica.

[poochie]

OMG those American twits are so funny! That just seriously proves that some people have no life!!!! Respond to a comment on a blog in 5 mins! Surely Jimmy you must find great excitement in stalking young girls!

[Jimmy]

I do actually. Love ya, pooch.

[Jimmy]

Oh, and I'm sure Nicky here has more of a life working 14 hour days for minimum wage.